j'adore rosette

Have you ever met anyone who is experiencing the same situation you used to face?

I did. In fact, I know them personally, and it’s painful to see people close to you to experience such pain in their lives. You will want to help, do anything to stop the person from doing the wrong things, making the wrong decisions.

But in your mind, you also know that if they don’t go through this pain, they will not realize the important keys. They will not change, or transform into a better person.

There have been a lot of incidents going on now, that I can’t even handle my own. I feel like I’m at the edge, anytime I might fall. But going forward, I am going to go through this alone and I need to tell myself that I am able to survive this shit. Because all in all, everything will be okay. Ultimately, things will come to an end, good things taken away from me, and the bad ones too.

I felt the change in me, in many forms. These forms accumulated and changed me. I didn’t know how far I’ve gone off astray, but right now I definitely feel like I’m not in my comfort zone.

Something is blinding me, and I need to find out what is it.

Rose

I realised that I have failed terribly, last night. Somehow I was thinking to myself, or trying to reflect what the fuck I’ve been doing.

What made me feel lousy was that I was so passionate with everything I do, regardless of love, life, or food. But now, I lost my passion towards food, to life and maybe not really towards love.

I have no appetite. I need to think so hard what I want to eat because I’m actually so sick of it. I’m trying to like to job.

However, whatever I was told yesterday was enough to make it into a nightmare for Rosette.

I strongly believe that every mere mortal have every right to comment to something, or opinion to something, or have their own set of feelings. Sometimes it can be judgemental, sometimes it can be nice. But how a person act upon how they feel, or how they THINK they feel OR think, sometimes pissed the fuck out of me.

Me being in this job, allows me to meet many different sorts of people. And unfortunately, I need to find all these people as the source of my business. Many people said, that’s the reason why they pay you so well, OR, nobody told you that this was gonna be easy.

I know.

I feel so frustrated. My frustrations towards what I’ve transformed into, is someone I don’t exactly know too well myself. Gosh, this is just mad.

I want to turn over so badly, I wanted to pretend that I died and burn myself some white paper to farewell to my old self, and bring back the all new me.

But it doesn’t mean anything because I’m going to be back in the SAME situation and the SAME set of problems. Maybe I can fly off to somewhere and get away from this place for a fucking good time.

Always thought to myself, ” I failed. But stand up. Stand up again.” Just when I realise I’ve been banging against the damn wall for hell lot of times. Hurt and injured, but couldn’t feel pain.

But I guess, if guns are legal, everyone might have already lost their lives,…including mine.

rose.