j'adore rosette

I think I am going to have a busy busy hectic hectic week ahead of me.

To update my dailies a lil’, I’ve just signed my job offer with UOB, working as a banker. I checked my email yesterday and realised there was a lil’ change to my position. The position is different, more advanced position. Which I think it’s going to be a challenge for me. Justin warned me, not to fool around and be serious at work. Thanks J :)

My orientation commerced on 18 July, and I’ve been arranging my time to meet my friends, be it close or not, for some drinks and hang out. Just bought 2 shirts with G2000 ( one black, one white), one work pants. Then the next day I went to Paragon to look for Shila (My ex-supervisor) to buy 3 more work clothes from her (very beautiful work shirts) at 50% off the total bill. Awesome.

Saw a pair of black peep toes heels that were so comfortable and got it at 25% from her, as a staff discount. :)

Very recently, I fell sick and my body just collapsed. My uncle passed on last week and I went to his funeral. My aunt bought me to his coffin and asked me if I want to take one last look. Before moving forward, my hands covered my face and I know I couldn’t handle it. And I want that “one last look” to be different. I took mine one last look when I was in the hospital and forever he will always live in my heart. 

Another heartaching matter that had consumed my energy and everything I have left was that I’ve made a decision to part with someone.

For this matter, I believe some of my friends were already informed. 

Parting will always be difficult, but sometimes it depends how much time you have spent with the person, and how much effort and feelings you have invested. It definitely affects me somehow, and I’m still at my mourning period. 

But leaving seems to be the best decision in this situation, and I’m proud of myself that I am decisive in this matter that I gather my courage and have risked my feelings to part, but not to wait for things to happen, and still expect the good to come to me.

I’ve celebrated Leslie’s birthday last week and had a good time together. He was very drunk. I was hanging out with some of our friends and I told one of the boys that we are best friends for many years. To a point I actually forgotten how many years we’ve been best friends. 

Then I paused for a moment, that for the past 8 years Leslie and I have been through every single thing together no matter how broken everything can be.

And as for Justin, you have no idea how thankful I am to have met you. Even until now, you have always catch me when I fall, and bring me comfort. 

…and also feed this heartbroken girl who nearly starved herself to death with food.

We hung out for some peking duck at odeon towers, then up to loof for some cocktails. And Leslie was telling me ” You will get sick when you are too sad or something, or cry too much you know.” But I think it’s because I left the window opened while Im having a shower or maybe I broke down due to emotional stress. 

Who knows?

Anyway, I got a lil better, less flu, less sick. Uploaded photos too, enjoy.

Ps. Every cloud has a sliver lining, til we meet again.

rosette

It is ironic how human brain works sometimes. Mere mortal like us are self-torturing ourselves everyday with stress, work, life, love, etc. Very commonly, we find ourselves thinking and wondering the negative than having to think about happier memories. 

Sometimes I get even more confused by myself because it started out having so many unhappy thoughts, unhappy thoughts about having fights, arguments and heartbreaking moments. Having to ask myself why such things happened. Is it me, or it is just something I need to deal with?

Then when everything come to an end, happier moments start occupying your whole body and you cry because you felt that there’s a tinge of regret to your decision. That those happy moments will always live in your heart no matter how things had ended, no matter how heart wrecking it is. 

Everyone I met in my life have given me happy and unhappy memories. That’s life.

I received a bad news today. 

My favorite uncle is left with 48 hours to live. 

Standing in my aunt’s shoes, or even just looking at her trying to take care of my uncle who had last stage cancer, breaks my heart, and everyone’s too. 

So I am dedicating this post to this beautiful couple.

I used to visit their place when I was younger during Chinese New Year. Although my aunt is not exactly a good cook, she is definitely trying her best to feed every guest. i have mean cousins and nephews that threw out food from their mouth into the bin and commented how shit the food was. 

She likes to mirowave king prawns as it’s easy and fast and taste good, i said it was really good. She made more for me. 

My favorite would be that she asked me to follow her, and secretly took a box of ice cream from the freezer. She have me a metal spoon and asked me to hide underneath the table and eat the ice cream. I can eat ice cream openly and my mum won’t screw me but not sure why she did that lol. 

A more memorable one was my uncle asked if I know how to write the word “Stupid” in Chinese. I was an angry kid, and always fail my exams when I was in primary school. I was offended but now I get it.

He wants me to study harder and smarter.

You see, when a person is dying, every memory becomes alive. No matter how long ago, your brain just flash them out and remind you. Then you started crying, feeling sad, and thinking, what you could have done to make things better.

I know my parents would be so darn sad if they receive the news that my uncle is gone. Gone to heaven.

And I, would feel depress because it’s making my parents sad, and we just lost somebody in the family. 

I lost 2 cousins, they died during young age. We were as close as siblings, and losing one more of my family member now is not making me feel any better. 

Bottom line is, - Who is going to be there for me after the end of every journey?

Would it be the same person?

rosette