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This is the beginning of everything. 


R

This is the beginning of everything.


R

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The same pain

Have you ever met anyone who is experiencing the same situation you used to face?

I did. In fact, I know them personally, and it’s painful to see people close to you to experience such pain in their lives. You will want to help, do anything to stop the person from doing the wrong things, making the wrong decisions.

But in your mind, you also know that if they don’t go through this pain, they will not realize the important keys. They will not change, or transform into a better person.

There have been a lot of incidents going on now, that I can’t even handle my own. I feel like I’m at the edge, anytime I might fall. But going forward, I am going to go through this alone and I need to tell myself that I am able to survive this shit. Because all in all, everything will be okay. Ultimately, things will come to an end, good things taken away from me, and the bad ones too.

I felt the change in me, in many forms. These forms accumulated and changed me. I didn’t know how far I’ve gone off astray, but right now I definitely feel like I’m not in my comfort zone.

Something is blinding me, and I need to find out what is it.


Rose


The same pain


Turning point…or not.

I realised that I have failed terribly, last night. Somehow I was thinking to myself, or trying to reflect what the fuck I’ve been doing.

What made me feel lousy was that I was so passionate with everything I do, regardless of love, life, or food. But now, I lost my passion towards food, to life and maybe not really towards love.

I have no appetite. I need to think so hard what I want to eat because I’m actually so sick of it. I’m trying to like to job.

However, whatever I was told yesterday was enough to make it into a nightmare for Rosette.

I strongly believe that every mere mortal have every right to comment to something, or opinion to something, or have their own set of feelings. Sometimes it can be judgemental, sometimes it can be nice. But how a person act upon how they feel, or how they THINK they feel OR think, sometimes pissed the fuck out of me.

Me being in this job, allows me to meet many different sorts of people. And unfortunately, I need to find all these people as the source of my business. Many people said, that’s the reason why they pay you so well, OR, nobody told you that this was gonna be easy.

I know.

I feel so frustrated. My frustrations towards what I’ve transformed into, is someone I don’t exactly know too well myself. Gosh, this is just mad.

I want to turn over so badly, I wanted to pretend that I died and burn myself some white paper to farewell to my old self, and bring back the all new me.

But it doesn’t mean anything because I’m going to be back in the SAME situation and the SAME set of problems. Maybe I can fly off to somewhere and get away from this place for a fucking good time.

Always thought to myself, ” I failed. But stand up. Stand up again.” Just when I realise I’ve been banging against the damn wall for hell lot of times. Hurt and injured, but couldn’t feel pain.

But I guess, if guns are legal, everyone might have already lost their lives,…including mine.

rose.


I have come to a conclusion, that no matter how shitty your job is, or how bad your day was, it’s the accompany that matters.

This is my best birthday ever.

I’m serious.

I had a great dinner with Justin on Saturday, and I had another great dinner with my family at a chinese restaurant, and I spent a wonderful time chilling with my colleagues which they decided to surprised me with 2 special guests ( and courier of present over to my office :) ). And today, my actual birthday, I treated myself a good breakfast and some awesome shopping. :)

My mindset of “Ruin is a gift” still stays strong, and I have always believed in it, just like any other individuals believing in themselves. We make use of bad experiences to learn that we hold our own destiny, and have a choice, we can choose what we want. And we all deserve something beautiful when once, our lives were ruined.

Eventually, everything goes away.

I have gained, and also have lost many things. Some say it’s part and parcel of life, mere mortals like us ask, and pray for everything.

The greedy, the vain, the starving children and more to gratify what they desire.

Satisfying the thirst of success, of expectations.., monster in us.

Frankly speaking, I’ve tried to write an entry for this blog for a million years, and saved them into draft section. I get really excited when it comes to writing, accompanied with inspirations. So I started to write, gave myself one week to complete……..and of course it didn’t turn out well.

Well now, I’m just thankful with all the amazing accompanies that has made my birthday such an joyous occasion, and by far the best. My family, whom spent 2 days with me for my birthday. My friends, Agnes;Wei xiong;Cheryl;Cheok hon;Derrick,JJ My best and ever, JUSTIN And any other random people who did celebrate with me, And all well wishes from friends on Facebook. I received many presents and dinner treats, and I appreciate the effort and time you guys spent on me. Omg love you guys!! Ps. I’ll upload the pictures of the presents and make everyone jealous I don’t care hohoho ROSETTE.



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